They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The ass gains better be worth it
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