I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm passing your future prison.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
