Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
