just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
