I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
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Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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