The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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