so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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