Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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