Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
