Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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