somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
