come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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