he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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