I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
