if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
