The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
