I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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