My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
