thus making me awesome and them whores
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
