Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
