The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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