ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
