Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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