should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
