remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you win again, gameday.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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