Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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