i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
