We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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