so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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