is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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