And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
do nipples grow back?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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