I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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