I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize