he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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