me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize