Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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