party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
