he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
