5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
