Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
