need another drink. this is the easiest way
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
