Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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