P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
