We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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