I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
