She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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