is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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