you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
