NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
