Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
