jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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