Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
