I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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