I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
