i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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