im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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