Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize