I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
