i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
