Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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